Our society bugs me. Actually, enrages me a little bit. I get so sick and tired of everyone skirting around topics like sex and death like they're communicable diseases. Frankly, imho, Utahans could stand to catch a little sex, and I know about a thousand people who could stand to catch a little death. We're growing up generations of children who can't handle these topics because we're too stupid or too afraid or too polite to deal with them.
A friend told me about the death of someone we have in common this morning. She said, "He passed away last night." No, he DIED. HE DIED. He didn't pass away. He didn't go to eternal sleep. He didn't kick the bucket. He didn't go home to his Heavenly Father. He didn't rejoin his ancestors. HE DIED. The man had cancer. He fought a wonderful battle and was a true warrior. He lost the battle. He died.
Some people find me so callous. But all I am is a realist. I can accept the fact that people DIE. And it's not because I'm the creepy lady who works for the Cemetery Program for the state. And it's not because I'm a taphophile. And it's not because I think that epitaphs are the most beautiful kind of poetic waxing philosophic ever created by man. And it's NOT because I am obsessed with zombies.
I worked as a volunteer for a long time at a place called The Sharing Place--before I got sick and just needed to sleep more than do anything else. We were never allowed to say "passed away" or any other jargon to the kids. When we talked about people dying, we said, "They died". We were straight up. We were honest. And those kids were happier and more trusting for it. Everyone else in their lives said things that sugar-coated it because they though the kids couldn't handle it. But the kids are FINE. It's the adults who need to learn a thing or two about coping.
And that is the major point, right? Coping. Adults today weren't taught to cope like the people before them and they're teaching their kids to cope even less.
My friend died. He was a good guy. No, he was a great guy. One of the best. A hard worker, a nice man, a good father and husband. He's what other men strive to be. And he died. His body was ravaged by a war on the inside. One that I understand all too well. And I think that it's only fair that he be allowed to rest in peace. That means no sugar coating. It means no "making everyone else feel better." This is about him. Not everyone else. He died. You don't have to move on. You don't have to accept it. By for God's sake, at least RESPECT it.
A friend told me about the death of someone we have in common this morning. She said, "He passed away last night." No, he DIED. HE DIED. He didn't pass away. He didn't go to eternal sleep. He didn't kick the bucket. He didn't go home to his Heavenly Father. He didn't rejoin his ancestors. HE DIED. The man had cancer. He fought a wonderful battle and was a true warrior. He lost the battle. He died.
Some people find me so callous. But all I am is a realist. I can accept the fact that people DIE. And it's not because I'm the creepy lady who works for the Cemetery Program for the state. And it's not because I'm a taphophile. And it's not because I think that epitaphs are the most beautiful kind of poetic waxing philosophic ever created by man. And it's NOT because I am obsessed with zombies.
I worked as a volunteer for a long time at a place called The Sharing Place--before I got sick and just needed to sleep more than do anything else. We were never allowed to say "passed away" or any other jargon to the kids. When we talked about people dying, we said, "They died". We were straight up. We were honest. And those kids were happier and more trusting for it. Everyone else in their lives said things that sugar-coated it because they though the kids couldn't handle it. But the kids are FINE. It's the adults who need to learn a thing or two about coping.
And that is the major point, right? Coping. Adults today weren't taught to cope like the people before them and they're teaching their kids to cope even less.
My friend died. He was a good guy. No, he was a great guy. One of the best. A hard worker, a nice man, a good father and husband. He's what other men strive to be. And he died. His body was ravaged by a war on the inside. One that I understand all too well. And I think that it's only fair that he be allowed to rest in peace. That means no sugar coating. It means no "making everyone else feel better." This is about him. Not everyone else. He died. You don't have to move on. You don't have to accept it. By for God's sake, at least RESPECT it.
